Maybe He Didn't Hit Me


As a young high school girl, I didn't know what I wanted out of life. I bounced around different ideas about my future career, after school activities, the idea of veganism, and boys. I was in silly relationships that would quickly end because I was "bored" - typical selfish teenager shit. One of those silly relationships in particular turned serious for different reasons other than love. 

After about a year, I decided to end things with my then boyfriend. He was a nice guy who would have gone to the ends of the earth for me and I simply couldn’t do the same for him. There were no signs of abuse, just overbearing affection, until I actually tried to leave.

“You will never find anyone better than me. If you leave, you’ll be alone forever.”
“You aren’t that pretty. You are lucky to have someone like me that will love you.”

He got into my head so I decided to stay….for another year. Once I worked up the courage to try again, things only got worse.

“Who is texting you? Give me your passwords.”
“If you really loved me, you wouldn’t hang out with the girls tonight.”
“You’ll never get into that college. You are not that smart. You should stay home and be with me.”

And so, another year went by…...

“I will kill myself if you leave me.”
“It is your fault I have gotten this way.”

This was my breaking point. I knew if I did not do something drastic, we would both end up dead. I told his family everything, shut my phone off, blocked him from all social media, and went completely radio silent.

Today, he is still at home, living with his parents, unemployed with a drug addiction. As for me? I am sitting in my NYC apartment, writing this piece, feeling thankful and hoping to make a difference.

Not everyone is as lucky.  #MaybeHeDoesntHitYou …..