Our Love Story

"I guess you can call it a love story like the kind you see in the movies," I say.

We met when I was senior in high school and he was a freshman in college. He was basically the human version of Prince Charming. Not a month went by where flowers didn't show up at my door and grand gestures of genuine interest weren't shown. He swept my parents off their feet. Oh, and me as well. He was my first huge love. The one I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.

Then real life happened. Nine years in - marriage, being a first-time mom, and moving out of my parents house for the first time at age 26, came a gush of increasingly overwhelming emotions. I started to feel like I was losing myself in adulthood and chose to keep myself in limbo. I practiced a huge lack of communication.

This was the beginning of us growing apart.

After being married for two years, having a two and a half year old son, and a daughter on the way, all of the changes that I had no experience handling on my own got the best of me. I felt overworked with a full-time job and being a full-time mother/spouse. Suddenly the little things and contributions that he did to help as a family I took as insufficient and began to expect more. Not saying what was in my mind and not setting aside time to express myself made me feel unappreciated. So I chose to part ways.

It was the hardest choice I ever made, but with that decision I gained independence. I was determined to prove to myself that I can build a life on my own that I would be proud of. Yet bigger issues arose, harder choices became my daily battle. I began a new relationship where all of my insecurities played a part in each move I made. It wasn't the best relationship decision, but it filled a hole at the time. With this relationship, I felt even more alone and now I was out to fend for myself and two kids.

This made me grow as an individual.

I learned things about myself I wouldn't have known otherwise. I learned that taking fault for my actions and accepting the consequences was the only way I would get through these hard times. Not giving up on my desire to do better. That decision and everything that it entailed led me to make wiser choices in who I was willing to share my path with. I ended that four-year relationship and began to find myself as an adult.

It took me a while, but there I was. Feeling free for the first time in my life. Taking the time to be single and learning to really enjoy my own company - where a glass of wine and a movie on my couch made me feel empowered. Throughout these five years separated from my husband, he never left and was always there for the kids.

I began to realize how thoughtful he had always been. Just last year, without an ounce of planning or knowledge, our love grew towards each other, again. He surprised me with a weekend trip to Washington DC and tickets to see my favorite artist with backstage passes to meet him! Unexpectedly, that weekend was the beginning of the spark between us.

This time it's different - I like to call it an adult relationship. One that I couldn't ask the gods for because I didn't know it existed. It just happened at the time is was suppose to. When I was at a place in my adult life, where I was comfortable being with myself, he walked right back in. I can describe it as picking up right where we left off, but with more life experiences. He's always been my rock, but this time I'm his too.

Our love is stronger than ever - we respect each others' thoughts, desires, choices, and goals. We are a team that will do anything to make it work. It's not an immense struggle, nor is it the type of love that you hear in the fairy tales. It's two people aware of one another’s needs, who support and complement each other’s individualities. I wouldn't change him for anyone. Looking back at how our love story unfolded, I wouldn't change a thing. However it got here, the stress and anguish we each went through, was so worth what I have now. I can genuinely say that I love this man more than words can ever describe.

So there are happy endings. I was right when I wished for the perfectly imperfect husband. Ideas of love may change, but the person you love is the one who makes you realize those changes are okay. Maybe I will never get my “white picket fence” and that's okay because the home doesn't make the family, the family makes the home.

Honey, I'm home!

-- 

Written by Karina Munoz

Karina is a dreamer turned realist, a mother, lover, hustler, and all around a creative. She's a co-founder of a creative agency, Insahyt Creative. You can find her inspirations here on her instagram

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