California Dreaming

The last time I went to Southern California was in May 2015. That was the last time I saw my dad, siblings, and some of my closest friends. But come Wednesday, I am lucky to go home this Holiday season.

A California Christmas.

I’ve only miss a few aspects, or I thought I did. I didn't realized how much I missed it until my Bay Area trip in the summer, which gave me all the feels for California. It is one of those feelings where you don’t know what you have until it’s gone. I remember hating the weather, the cheery Starbucks greeters, and that too lax vibe.

Now as we are entering the Polar Vortex on the East Coast, I want that sun kissing my skin all the time, and I could use happy people around me. Let’s not forget those pretty (and iconic) palm trees…

I guess you can say I am homesick. Living in a large city like New York, despite the crowds, you can still feel alone (and defeated in my case). There has been a few times this year where I felt most vulnerable and thought to myself - maybe I should just move back.

Then I think...

What would my life be like if I hadn’t left? Career-wise, where would I be and would I be happy? Would I be less stressed than I am now? Would I be living with my parents to save money on rent so I can purchase a nice Audi A4? Would I be engaged like some of my peers?


Believe me, I do look forward to the fresh air. Going to places where the beaches and the mountains are nearly a three-hour drive apart. Ultimately, having control of my destination. All the familiarity. 

But when I truly evaluate the quality of life that I built in my time in New York, I wouldn't exchange it for this so-called simpler and easier life (this is what my parents say and think).

Just entertaining the thought of leaving New York sounds wicked. I'm not ready to leave quite yet and I don’t know if I’ll ever...


Written by Chary