How We Met: Doctor Feder, OBGYN

I’ve always struggled with finding the perfect everything. One of the things I found challenging as an adult woman is finding the right doctor, where I feel comfortable sharing health and medical stories and you know, have my hoohah checked.

Tiffany shared her doctor’s information with me, so I made an appointment as soon as she had an opening slot and boom. Here I am dashing on my lunch break - 15 minutes late Uptown, filled out the paperwork and impatiently waiting to walk into my new doctor's doors.

Forty-five minutes later after my appointment time, I am finally summoned to see my doctor. She's friendly and outgoing as I did not predicted. Here I go running down the list -  answering what she's asking. She asks about my drinking habits and then she asked me if I smoke - 

She looks at me. I respond, "Well, I'm kind of new to it." She laughs and says, "Wow, that is the best response I've ever heard about that one." I tell her that what I mean is I am a "social smoker" and that I have a pack laying around, but don't do it soberly. She shakes her head and says, "You know that stuff kills you?" 

I know, I know. Don't tell mum.

I shared the intricate details of my family medical history. She frightens me about ovarian cancer (previous death on my dad's side) and affirms that my parents' chronic illness is treatable.

She stops and looks at me. Then says, "Do you need a therapist? I know many great doctors."

Did my new OBGYN asked me if I needed a psychiatrist? Yeah, That happened.

"I mean if you want. That's a lot to handle as a woman so young like you." All I had was silence. No words agreeing or denying to her statement.

We now enter the examine room where I have to change into this paper "robe" and use this other paper as a cover sheet. I waited a good fifteen minutes then the Nurse comes in and does her usual stuff: heart rate, weight and height. Turns out, I've lost another pound. 

Now Doctor Feder comes in. She tells me to lie down, sanitizes her hands, then puts her hands through my fancy robe, and onto my boobs. She has to get frisky to check if I have beast bumps. I'm in the clear. Phew.

Now, she pulls out these weird things to hold your legs - you know, so you can spread them wide. She tells me to scoot down towards the edge of the seat. While I do this I feel uncomfortable and stupid - as if this is my first time getting a pap smear.

It isn't, but I find spreading my legs before a woman who I just met is kind of weird. I know, she's a legitimate doctor and has some authority, but still...

So there I am, "Spread your legs wide and relax" she says. She doesn't give me any warning before I feel this very cold contraption in my vagina. My body is in shock and I begin to feel super uncomfortable - even more so.

"Looks good and healthy!" She shouts while this cold tool is still in me. "Good to hear," I said back. Now this time she actually gave me warning, "Alright I am going to go in with my fingers."


"Can you please relax? Sweets, I need you to relax."

I giggle first, then say, "I'm sorry." I had to give myself a pep talk to be relaxed in the pelvis area. She removes her fingers and takes off her gloves. I'm concerned now because she didn't utter anything to me. But it turns out, that was it for my check up.

“You’re all set, Chary.”

So yeah, I guess you can say doctor Feder and I are going to be real close.


Written by Chary